Super Sons: A Jolly Good Evening
by FlimFlam3
Summary: Jon Kent went to the Wayne's to finish a simple school assignment. Of course, this could not bring any dire trouble or income of villany to our dearest lads, could it, old sport?
1. Chapter 1

**1 – The author does not own Robin, Superboy, it's elements and likeliness.**

 **2 – Tale for entertainment purposes only**

 **3 – Go watch the original "Who's on first?"**

 **4 – Please, enjoy**

 **Chapter 1**

* * *

"So, 'Kid-Goody-Two-Shoes' also knows how to cheat."

Jon Kent just smiled, as he watched Damian go through yet another series of exercise. He wanted to protest, but decided not to. Robin was right in a way: his school assignment was simple: interview a businessperson. That meant his colleagues rushed to talk with the owner of the local Ice Cream shop, or the mechanic, or even some farmer. He decided to interview Bruce Wayne. His father was against, of course, talking about drawing unnecessary attraction, the need of doing things the hard way, and so on. Louis Lane went to his rescue. It would not be strange for the son of two reporters to interview such a bigshot. They had the connections without uniform and the League, after all.

But was the League that delayed all that. With Batman on a mission, in the owl-light of the Batcave, he has nothing to do but watch Damian exercise and wait, occasionally petting the dog Titus who, despite his enormous size, enjoyed it.

"Will you finish anytime soon?"

"If you're bored, do what father suggested – use some old interviews of him, have Alfred fill the holes to put yours together, and just wait to have the photos taken."

"That would not be fair."

"tt – Pennyworth is used to it. He gave a good dozen interviews pretending to be Bruce Wayne. Batman has priorities other than Gossip Magazines." And smiled "Or hayseeds."

Jon walked around the cave some.

"You're lucky I am not **short** -tempered, Damian" he heard a particularly strong kick hit the punching bag, and giggled more. "You know, we…" he turned around and saw Robin had disappeared.

He was wearing only the long dark unitard he wears under his tunic and cape, so blending in the shadows was easier for him.

"Damian?"

The answer was an empty small water bottle hitting his head, as Damian was hanging upside down from an Olympic horizontal bar.

"Done."

"Nice. So, what you wanna do?"

"Shower, light food, patrol later."

"Together, city boy. What can we both do?"

"Hrmpf, I think I can not escape being a host. Follow me." And, just to break the silence "How's the move to Metropolis?"

"It will take another two weeks or so. I really don't like the city. At the farm, I had my friends. There, I have nobody."

"Hm, I didn't know she lingered in that city, too."

"Who?"

"Nobody."

"Fine, don't tell me. Thing is, I will have nobody to talk to. Until school starts, that is."

"At least, you will not be completely alone."

"What do you mean? I just said I have nobody."

"Exactly." Damian looked at him for a moment "Don't tell me you have a crush."

"A crush? I don't even know any kid around, how can I have a crush?"

"You just said you have Nobody. Sounds pretty possessive to me."

"Possessive on who?"

"Who are we talking about, hayseed?"

"Nobody!"

"Exactly!"

"Is this some new villain, dummy? This Exactly?"

"No, Dummy is at Arkhan for decades. We're talking about Nobody."

"So, why talk at all? This is strange."

"*tt*, nope, we haven't heard of Hugo Strange in months. Back to the subject."

"What subject?"

"Your crush."

"Cut it out, Damian! I have a crush on nobody."

"So, you admit."

"Admit? I don't even know what I am talking about!"

"Anyway, lover boy, after I shower, I'll have Pennyworth fix ourselves some meal. Then we can arrange some frivolous pastime."

Jon smirked. Only Damian could say "we will play" that way. In their way to the young Wayne's room, they passed the large oil portrait of Bruce Wayne family. Jon stood there for a while.

"I am kind of jealous. How does it feel to have brothers?"

"Grayson's fine."

He stood there, waiting for the little Wayne to say anything else about the others. It was useless.

"My chamber's this way. And I would be a bit more careful with your desires. The probability of you having a super villain sibling is high."

"I wasn't planning ahead of teaching him or her to walk and climb trees."

"And that's the problem with the clan of 'S'. You don't foresee, you pretend be normal people."

"…mom says the batfamily is paranoid." Jon let it escape, out of frustration.

"Out there is a clown that finds funny to torture people to death. A woman who can make any potted flower kill you. A former attorney who decides your life on a coin toss. A pyromaniac guy dressed as a bug. So, yes, sorry if we are always on the edge."

"Right, truce?"

Jon thought for a while. Damian would not agree with anything with the word "play", so…

"Want to exercise Titus afterwards?"

"Good idea."

* * *

Entering Damian's room, Jon was disappointed. If there's some videogame or TV, they are well hidden. In fact, he could count in one hand the decorative items there. And the first one that caught his attention was

"Naughty, naughty, Damian"

"Huh?"

"A photo of a blond lady in lingerie on the wall. I didn't expect that from you."

"*tt*, look closer." Said the young Wayne, unzipping his unitard.

"Don't mind if I d" Jon had to suppress a gasp. What looked a normal corkboard was filled with newspapers news of crimes, maps pinpointing places, written notes, all about...

"That is my investigation on White Rabbit. She is being the talk of the underworld, doing several robberies. She is far from being a petty criminal, so I must discover why the need for so much money and…"

"Fine, fine. Sorry I called you a dirty mind. The way you think is dirtier and more dangerous."

"Ha!" that's the answer coming from the running water.

"Hm, but you said you want to patrol?"

"Yes, there's some places full of cheap robbers and such where I can get info about White Rabbit."

"So… you are looking for a woman after riches, and will leave the wealthiest place in Gotham to search on the wrong side of the town?"

There was a moment of silence and then the water closed in a hurry. A wet Damien, wearing only a towel around his waist, zoomed past Jon.

"Kent, you do think! Back to the cave."

"Weren't we going to eat?"

"Ask Pennyworth. He will provide any meal you want."

* * *

After some time, A concerned kid and butler went down the cave, the huge computer monitor providing the only light around. Typing with care, Damian, in his full Robin uniform, didn't mind the newcomers. Alfred offered down a tray of food.

"Focaccia al rosmarino, smoothie of milk, papaya and banana, pear flambé and you are trying to eat the napkin, master Damian."

Without leaving his eyes from the scream, Robin got one of the edible items offered by the butler.

"Say, Alfred, Damian just ran around the house wearing but a towel, and is eating without leaving the computer. And some people complain about the manners of farm folks?"

"Sometimes, the Waynes are not best example of civilized behavior, young mister Kent. Must be genetic."

"I need to choose the words very carefully, post in the right places. I am making up a story about Bruce Wayne having some hard cash stocked in his home, due a shady deal. Must look legit, if we want to attract White Rabbit."

"So, I am back to the boring cave"

"You are more than welcome to use our library, young sir."

"just Jon, Alfred."

"Maybe not so boring. Pennyworth, get my contingency briefcase number nine, please."

Damian got the item, opened it with his fingerprint and a code, and tossed it to Jon. Opening, the son of Superman found:

"The sneakers have the most generic sole print I could find, even so I defaced it a bit. Impossible to recognize and, therefore, track. Dark blue jeans, so you can blend in the dark easier. I padded the 'S' crest in the jacket with our special Kevlar, I don't want other bullet fiasco after last time. Gloves, of course, so you don't leave your alien fingerprints around. And a dark red, discreet cape. Go get dressed for the occasion."

"You made me an uniform?"

"I made several contingence things."

"You care that much about me? Like… a friend?"

"I ranked things up and realized it was likely of you appear around unprepared. Number 9 of 16, so far. But you are right, I care about you…"

"Wow, Damian, it's hard for you to say something ni…"

"… so much case number four is kryptonite."

"I hate you."

"Glad to hear it."

* * *

Jon checked his cell phone. One hour sitting in a small room, checking the security cameras. He lost count the times he tried to float, walked around, sat, did anything to stay alert.

"Most of detective work is to wait, Superboy."

"Fine, you be the detective, I am going to bed"

He tried to reach the door, but knocked his head on the ceiling, instead.

"I am… flying? Damian, I am flying!"

"Aaaaarrrr, I am more worried about the fact you are wearing some green clothes."

"You said 'aaaaarrrrr'?"

Robin looked at himself, as he was somehow donning some sort of pirate outfit. Looking back at the monitors, he saw some rooms of the manor looking like a pirate ship, others, a tropical island, and, walking through the main door, a sharp-dressed red-haired man.

"Mad Mod!"

"I think we have other problems, o Captain, my Cap… Robin. Where did that come from?"

"What can be worse than a posh british reality-altering villain?"

"It's my… shadow. It just flew away."


	2. Chapter 2

**\- A quick second chapter**

 **\- The author does not owns Super Sons, nor its elements or anything related to the concept.**

 **\- For entertainmente purposes only.**

 **\- Please enjoy**

* * *

"Capital." Mad Mod entered the altered mansion. "T'is will be an adequate bonus to the exquisite lady that helped me fund my new doohickeys" and offered his hand, helping White Rabbit to enter.

"I appreciate, of course, but tell me, how can we find the money now that it's a jungle… and a boat… out there?"

"Ah, I'd expected a lady with such a marvelous taste for a second self would appreciate my literary vision." He offered her a small pink triangle "Adjust t'is on your nose. It filters the perception-altering gas I dosed the manor with. He took a deep breath "Alas, it will prevent you from enjoying t'is great faint earl gray smell."

"Thanks. Let's find it."

* * *

Leaving the security room, Superboy tried to fly, just to fall on the ground.

"What happened?"

Robin sighed.

"Happy thoughts."

"What?"

"You're Peter Pan, you scallywag. You fly with happy thoughts. Let's find Smee… Pennyworth! I mean Pennyworth! Aaargh! Mad Mod will pay for this. I will make him waaa…" Robin shut his mouth, trying to avoid the expression "walk the plank" to leave it. "Darn it!"

Jon made a mental image of Damien tied in a chair, surrounded by insurance salesmen doing their pitches.

"You are right! I am flying. Now, where to? After my shadow, find Alfred or Mad Mod?"

" 'Ashra, tiss'a, thamania, those are illusions, sab'a, sitta, try to focus on what matter, khamsa, arba'a, thalaatha, let's assure Pennyworth is well first, ithnaan, wahid. Try to keep your mind busy with mathematics. Dez, nove, oito, sete…"

"Right." Superboy flew for some meters, before falling again

"Do you have any idea less painful? I can just think about one thing at a time."

"Let's just run. Multiples of eight: eight, sixteen, twenty-four, …"

They soon reached a large saloon, with now had a river running through it.

"Great." said Superboy, touching the water. "For an illusion, it's pretty wet."

"It's like hypnosis or such. As I said, keep your mind busy"

"I think it's working. I can hear the room clock."

"Good."

"Unless…"

"Unless what, landlubber? Gaaahh, stop the pirate thing. The square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum…"

"Well, it's Peter Pan, right?"

The tick-tock seemed to get louder. Robin was motionless, looking at the water.

"Don't worry, Robin. You don't have anything close to a crocodile. Just a cow, a cat and a dog."

Soon, a massive red-ish thing with huge draconic wings emerged from the waters, the eerie clock sound coming from its interior.

"Oh, right. And Goliath."

* * *

 **Now, now, it would be cruel to stop here, wouldn't it, my duckies?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Now, before we begin, I shall address the fact t'is is an entertainment tale, no copyright law infringement intended whatsoever. Every other law, may'aps.**

 **Without further ado, my duckies, I shall read the opinion of the followers of t'is tale t'at should bare my name, and not of those defenseless, 'opeless wanton brats. T'ere is no justice in t'is vast, old world me live in, is t'ere? A wonderful feeling, I must say.**

 **Anyhow,** RoseVered **said "I laughed even though in public".** Bookwormbored **said "I laughed too hard at one scene, I think it's refered to Abbott and Costello". Poppycock! You amuse yourselves too much with low American humor. You need to learn about British best, like Rowan Atkinson, Stephen Fry, and, of course, Monty Python. Why, I am sure we can squeeze a "Dead Robin Sketch" 'ere soon.** Bookwormbored **adds "Will nobody appear?" Why, my duckie, t'ere's five human characters with lines already. Far from nobody.**

 **"** **No, I mean, will Nobody appear?"**

 **It would not be an exciting tale with nobody on it, now would it?**

 **"** **Why? Nobody's a good character."**

 **I took offense. Enough with t'is nonsense, more praise from** The Sorrowful Deity **, and** janahjean **says "i definitely agree that it's cruel to stop ...right thereeee...and now im flying with a happy thought of wringing your neck" Now, old chap, be a sport, be a sport.**

 **Now, should the lordlike Mad Mod, like himself, assume the port of Mars. And at his 'eels, leashed in like dogs, should heroes, old bills and brats lay defeated. Admit me chorus to t'is history; who, prologue-like, your humble patience pray gently to read, kindly to judge our tale.**

* * *

Robin and Superboy tried to jump out of the way of Goliath's claws, without much success. The creature was too fast, and was beyond any control. Superboy jumped on the creature's back, just to be thrown away with ease.

"Halt, Goliath! Halt! Fight the hypnosis, hayseed, you are not Peter Pan, you are Superboy, Use your strength!" Shouted Robin, jumping in front of Goliath, trying to avoid being hold by his fast arms and claws.

Jon jumped again on Goliath's back, holding on for a little longer.

"Woooooa, boy, easy now, easy."

"Don't confuse him with this kind of command!"

"Then what do I say? Give me a hand here."

"Honestly, I am trying to avoid that." Damian almost couldn't finish the phrase, as Goliath grabbed him.

"Throat… soft spot. Hit him under his neck, hard!" the mind of Damian was fighting between following his martial training, and hiding his arms from the Demon Bat, his head getting closer and closer.

Holding on the rein, Superboy swinged and kicked Goliath without thinking about excess of force or no. Just a desperate kick to save both. The creature raised up on his hinder legs, emiting a roar of pain that dwarfed the clock for a few seconds, but without letting Damian go. Raising up that fast made him hit the room ceiling hard, easing the grip on the son of Batman, allowing him to escape. Jon landed next to him.

"Run, Robin!"

"I prefer 'let's strategically retreat'." The arm of Goliath, hitting the floor hard near them, made Robin change tone "The door, Superboy, quick!"

Wait, thought Robin. Door?

"It's worst, Mad Mod" complained White Rabbit, twisting the air filter given to her "I am seeing double. That's a piano and a rock at same time."

"I apologize, my fair lady, but t'at is a generic filter. Not custom made, some gas still reach your lungs. So" Mad Mod clicked a button on his cane "For the time being, let's have just the decadence Americana. In a matter of seconds it will dissipate, you will see everything, warts and all, and we will proceed."

Robin and Superboy looked around to find a regular room, as well his clothes changing back to normal.

"Should we check on Goliath?"

But Robin was already drawing his birdarangs, looking at the other side of the room.

"W'at we have 'ere? I recognize the garment, but not the lad inside it."

"There's a Robin factory somewhere, Mad Mod. They multiply like…" White Rabbit laughed "I will not finish, they are kids."

"Kid this" said Robin, throwing his weapons. White Rabbit dodged them, while Mad Mod generated a force field with his cane. Robin wasted no time and jumped on the villains.

"Ah, like the other, you seem to know your onions, my duckie."

White Rabbit put herself between Robin and Mad Mod.

"You would not hit a woman, would you?"

Robin kicked her in the stomach. The nature of her double body made her hardly aknowledge the hit.

"I have no problem with it" answered Damian

Jon finally got a sense of what was happening and raced to Mad Mod. Meanwhile, White Rabbit opened her corset.

"How about hitting a naked woman?"

"It's even softer" said Damian, with a grim.

"I hate to halt t'is argy-bargy" Mad Mod pressed a button on his cane "But we have things to do, dosh to steal, and, may'aps, duckies to kill. Ta-ta for now."

Robin tried to chase the duo, but was lost when the room became filled with playing cards.

He turned to Superboy, who's face was beet red.

"She… showed her…"

"Knock it out, big baby, it's just the human body and she's a villain. Focus in the mission and…" Robin's phrase was cut short and he began to laugh.

"What's so funny? If you were a normal person, you would also…"

"The giant cards, hayseed. What book do they remind you of?"

"… Alice?"

Robin got a small mirror from his belt, and made Jon look at himself

"Exactly."

Supeboy looked in horror as he was nor with a long blond wig and blue dress. In horror, he throwed the wig away.

"Al least, I am human, kitty."

"What do you…" Damian looked in the mirror and saw two purple ears on the top of his head, while his body developed colorful strips. And that's the last thing he saw, as his body started to fade away, leaving only…

"You know" mocked Jon "Somehow I doubt Lewis Carrol would put a frowning Cheshire Cat in the book." It was odd to see the angry-looking mouth floating in front of him.

"Fine. Let's stop making fun of each other and get those crooks."

Jon pointed back.

"Don't you want to check…"

"No, I don't want to see Goliath sitting on a mushroom, smoking or whatever. Let's move!"

"It's a bit hard to follow you now, you know?"

"Mission, you country Ru Paul Júnior. Mission!"

They raced again after the duo, getting through rooms Robin knew weren't on the original manor, one craziest than the last. After a while, Robin stopped Jon.

"This is not working. Listen to my plan."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading. Concludes next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**"** **Hello. Jonathan Kent here" said the boy, waving. He quickly poked the other kid at his side, arms crossed and frowning.**

 **"** ***tt* …and Damian Wayne."**

 **"** **We're here to apologize about Mad Mod answering your reviews last chapter and say we're happy for your support and we must thank you for the nice reviews and opinions. Please enjoy the end of this fan piece."**

 **"** **Are we done now?"**

 **"** **Be nice, Damian"**

 **"** **What? Be nice with the readers of a guy that had me walking around with just a towel on, and put you in a dress? No, thank you."**

* * *

It took time for Damian to find the villain duo in the now unfamiliar manor. Once he did, he smiled. This would be easy, his plan was flawless. Well, it would be, if Mad Mod and White Rabbit were not circling an Alfred that grew several extra limbs and was painted blue, while smoking in an Argilee.

"Good. You did your act. Now, tell us once for all where is the money?"

The butler took some moments to answer

"Instead of pearls—a wrought clasp—

a bracelet—will you accept this?

You know the script—

you will start, wonder:

what is left, what phrase

after last night?*"

Oh, great, though Robin. Now he needs to save Pennyworth, too.

"Turn the illusion off, Mad Mod, so we can make him talk."

"Why, my dearest lady, t'is may jeopardize our advanta…ouch!" the british villain felt something hit his chin.

"Guess what, limey? I must thank you for making me invisible."

"Blast it. Seems my lady was right, after all." Pressing a button on his cane, the Wonderland scenario started to disappear.

"Now, where are you, my duckie?" Mad Mod saw Robin trying to drag Alfred out of the room. He raised his cane, trying to fire at the boy wonder, when…

"And thanks to get me off that dress. Now I know I am not Alice, but" A blast of heat left Jon's eyes, hitting the cane and Mad Mod's hand, making him scream in pain and drop his weapon. "Superboy!"

"Well, well." White Rabbit made a provocative pose. "I see the 'boy', would you show me the 'super'?" Jon swallowed dry, and covered his eyes.

"R-Robin…"

The answer was a high whistle. Answering to that, Titus entered the room, wearing a cowl and growling menacingly. Jon sighed in relief.

"Try your charms on the Bat-hound, ma'am."

Damian was back in the room, knocking Mad Mod out and gesturing to White Rabbit to gave up.

* * *

Later on, with the criminals tied up and delivered to a GCPD station, Alfred, Jon and Damian looked at the room destroyed by Goliath. The ceiling was damaged, and most of the once elegant floor was now a huge hole.

"There's a direct path from this room to the cave, so I doubt master Bruce will request external contractors."

"I will help, Alfred. And I will ask my father, too."

"I appreciate, young sir. Well, best to start quoting the building material" And left the boys alone.

"Do you know how are you going to tell your father?"

"I do. In fact, I have five or six options already."

"Why that many?"

"Depends on the settings. Let's check the cave for more damage."

* * *

After a while, they heard the Batwing landing, and, from inside it, two people stepped down.

"So, it's plan D, after all." Said Damian, grabbing two long objects and rushing to meet the newcomers.

"If you are right, Bruce, and this… event… this… almost an End of Times Hourglass…"

"I like that name. I was thinking Doomsday Clock."

"At any rate, if these things are true, and if Oz is who you say he is…"

"He is."

"You know this leave us with few options, right?"

"Diana, we faced these Crisis before. At least I think we did. Point is…"

The talk was cut short by a polished piece of wood being thrown at Wonder Woman.

"Get your bokken, your highness." Said Damian "You promised me a sparring section, remember?"

She looked at the wooden sword, similar to the one the kid in front of her was wielding.

"Son, we're both tired and bruised…"

"It won't take longer, father" said Damian, with a smirk.

"Allow it, Bruce. It will help me unwind." Said Wonder Woman, leaving her real sword and shield on the floor, and holding the bokken.

"Meanwhile, you can help Jon with his assignment. Upstairs."

Jon Kent's eyes grew big. "Damian, what are you…"

"Fine." Bruce Wayne, somehow, already changed his uniform to some simple jeans and tee-shirt.

"Damian, don't make me go alone" Jon pleaded, but Bruce was already coaching him into the manor. "Damian!"

Diana looked at the boy in front of her

"Is there something I need to know?"

"Oh, little Kent just found out what is to have a plan for every circumstance." He kicked some dirt of the cave floor, aiming at her eyes "And so do you" with a laugh, he rushed to attack the amazon.

* * *

 **End**

 **Thanks a lot for reading and your support.**

 *** The Gift, public domain poem by H.D., 1886-1961**


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